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You're just shallow and pedantic.

Nah I'm good. Raw eggs make me itchy.

Ew, David.

That's not my title anymore so I don't immediately give off the rural midwest vibe.

Lol oh shit I should say two. So yeah husband plus one other, who happens to be one of my husband's best friends' brothers who was also dating one of my best friend's sisters at the time.

The perils of being from a small town - I was at the bar one night in my early 20s and looked over to see like 5 of the people I'd slept with all standing within a few feet of each other. At my engagement party, I started talking to one of them (he was a weekend fling and blew me off when we...

Was the first wife aware that you'd fucked a decent percentage of your wedding guests?

Well conversation has really taken a turn now.

Right? Like I feel like I'd be less of a neurotic mess if I could go back to believing in a higher power and all that.

Damn it God, back the fuck off, I don't even believe in you.

Ah see I do scrub to a degree I am just aware that it's not necessarily good for my skin. I don't go as rough as I used to though. I may try changing to a softer washcloth or something and see if it makes a difference, my legs are like perpetually fucking itchy no matter what I do to them...

Bars are typically better for your skin too. Scrubbing destroys your acid mantle. Also loofahs harbor bacteria. Doesn't stop me from using a pouf but I am aware that it's harsh.

I'm talking about watching the movies that are spoken in the language I understand with subtitles in a foreign language, whereas your example is the opposite. Had we done what you did, it may have actually been somewhat effective. On a rare occasion, she would actually put on the movies in...

I took Spanish and our teacher was... Not good. She believed that watching movies in English with Spanish subtitles and singing songs about beating chocolate were the best way to learn the language lmao Fun fact - our school district absorbed two others, and with it, we got lots of new...

I only speak American :cry:

This is America and I'm going to need you to speak American from now on.

Get out of my head that was my line.

*Pronounces fero's name incorrectly*

I'm sorry I think you meant to say "Thanks Obama." Though this may be the work of Hillary's emails, I'm not sure.

We only pay the copay so it's $60 out of pocket. In my head I'm raging about the fact that she charges that much for like 15 minutes of our time lol Then again she has a doctorate degree and this is through a hospital network so I'm certain she doesn't receive that.